Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Everybody Knows that the Dice are Loaded

"Everybody knows that the dice are loaded. Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed." ~ Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen is making his first appearance in Portland this evening at the Theater of the Clouds. While it is his first time to play our arena, it just happens to be the last event that I will work at the Rose Quarter. It is not surprising that I was a little emotional when I wrote my Rose Quarter blog today.

Unforunately, I caught a nasty bug so I have been chugging tea and red bull all day. Leonard is scheduled to perform for three hours, so this will be a long night and I need all the artificial energy I can get. I can't tell if I am on the verge of crying because my eyes are itchy and watery from this cold or if I am emotional because it is my last event. It's hard to know if this truly is my last event I will ever work, but this will definitely be the last event that I will work at the Rose Quarter. Saying good-bye to this arena is bittersweet. On one hand, I am extremely excited to move to New Zealand and the adventures that lie ahead. But I am sad to say good-bye to all the amazing people I work with. This arena has an amazing staff and I have made some lifelong friends. Hopefully it is not good-bye, but just a see you later. I rolled the dice and took a gamble when I quit my job and made the decision to move to the southern hemisphere...but in the end I think I picked a winner!

I think I am a gypsy at heart, so perhaps that is why I enjoy checking my daily horoscope and having my tarot cards read. Because my move was such a gamble, I decided to have my tarot cards read by a woman that I met at a work function a few months ago. Her name is Jewels Edwards and she is a marketer by day, and a tarot card reader by night. While most of you probably think this is crazy, I can't help but hope there is a little truth to what she said. I called her early in December and asked her to give me a general overview of the next five to six months, so I am going to share with you some of the things she said. Please no judgment, but do know that I didn't tell her anything...I just asked her to tell me about the next six months. 

The sun card was present which means a new beginning is coming. She said there is a big change in my life, but I have lost the enthusiasm. I had the queen of ones card, but it shows up on it's head which means I am questioning my decision. However, admist all of my concerns about job, money and love - the sun card is in the center and is the happiest card of all. She sees forward momentum and that I am winning the internal war that I have been battling. She said healing is an outcome of this process and I get all of the things I have 
always wanted. 

She also said money is fine and I have new opportunity. But she said it looks as though I am being drug along, like I have dug my heals into my current position and now I am questioning it because this concept is so foreign. I wonder if I am out of my mind?  Am out of my element?  This is a huge step. It's like stepping off a cliff - but healing is coming. The opportunity can bring me amazing energies, learning and growth. It will put me in front of people I would have never met.  She said that these people are going to have a huge impact on my life.  She said I will face challenges, but to just keep breathing because I made the right decision. 

There is more to the reading, but this is all I am going to share (or at least while I am sober.) For all of you skeptics, I am sure you could say this could apply to anything in my life. This general reading meant more to me, because it is exactly how I feel. I have lost the momenentum and question my decision everyday because this whole thing is surreal and foreign to me. I love Portland and the people in it, so why in the world would I be crazy enough to leave? I am nervous about finances and finding a job. If nothing else this just gives me the naive confidence that it is in the cards and will all work out.